Sunday, July 31, 2016

Feel Anything (Drabble)

We'd stepped outside for a quick study break and found ourselves settling into the field nearby. All I could hear was wind gliding past the trees and the soft breathing of the moon. After three hours of being affronted by the constant buzz of the fluorescent lights in the library, this was nice. I heard a light sigh from a couple inches away.

"What's wrong, Erin? Tired?"

"Yeah, kind of." She paused. "I dunno, there's just a lot going on."

I scrunched my eyebrows together before questioning, "Like with school?"

She shuffled pensively and sighed again. "Do you ever feel like you have too many emotions? Like there's more energy or feelings sitting in your body than there's supposed to be?"

I blinked back and exhaled. "I guess sometimes. Like when I'm excited about something. Is that what you mean?"

"Not exactly... I mean sometimes I've got all this energy, and it makes me want to do something big. Sometimes I'll just be sitting there, and then all of a sudden my heart starts racing, and I just get this urge to find a friend and start laughing--

"Is that why you randomly showed up at my room yesterday?"

"Or I want to run forever or talk for hours or do something big. And happy, ya know?"

There was a quick pulse in my chest when I asked, "Like falling in love?"

Erin shot up to sit and face me. "Yes! Exactly! I just feel this need to do something grand and wonderful. Something significant."

Raising my eyebrow, I glanced at her. "Well that sounds great. Why'd you sound so down about it a minute ago?"

Her gaze dropped to hands, and she began to pick at her nails. She let out a light chuckle and said, "Well it's only like that half the time. And even so, it kind of sucks wanting to fall in love and having no one to fall in love with."

"You could fall in love with me," I joked, and she just laughed. A soft laugh that rang through the night and mingled with the stars.

"But half of the time there's just so many emotions that I just kind of go numb. Like I sit there with something swirling inside of me, but my head feels empty and I don't want to move. Occasionally it'll last awhile, and it makes me feel trapped. Then I start thinking about those bad things I told you about."

I pressed my lips together in a line and brought my gaze up to meet hers. She was staring off into the space behind me, her eyes a mix of exhaustion and daze. She worries me sometimes. "Please don't."

"I don't choose to," she replied curtly. "It just happens sometimes."

With a heavy sigh, I lifted myself up so I was sat in front of her. "I know, I'm sorry. Can I do anything? I want to help."

She forgave me with a smile and laughed gently before looking at me. "Thank you. That means a lot."

I gave her a confused grin and teased, "Hey. You didn't tell me what to do!"

"Just be here. Be my friend, please."

I held her hand and her gaze. "Always."

The photo above is something I drew last night while watching Friends. I've actually been drawing a ton recently, so I'm thinking of doing a little peek-into-my-sketchbook type post soon. So look forward to that! Or don't. To each her own.


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