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Sunday, July 10, 2016

Abandoning Normativity

dress: Nordstrom Rack; bomber: Zara; purse: BCBGeneration;
socks: Kohl's; shoes: Topshop

Weird has become mainstream over the last few years. Or at least saying you're weird has become popular. Forgive me for being absolutely ridiculous, but I get mildly annoyed when normal people with a minor quirk call themselves weird.

Let me explain.
As a person who doesn't easily mesh with her fellow human beings, I'm quite sensitive about the word "weird." I've recently concluded that I have a different idea of what words and topics are acceptable in casual conversations. It's quite common for me to say extremely depressing, violent, or strange things as a form of humor. Sue me--I'm a product of Internet culture. Consequently, when people tell me they're weird, I take that to mean that they're familiar with japes of the aforementioned manner, and I just let the dark humor flow.
A year ago, I thought I was quirky. Upon meeting oodles of new people during my first year of college, I realized that I'm weird. And not fun "iCarly" weird. I'm talking "people give me weird looks and don't know how to respond when I speak" weird. For awhile there, I spent a lot of down time wondering if I'd make more friends by training myself to be more like the people around me. Luckily, I shut that idea down quickly. I've mentioned before how much I fear conformity, but I'm also very against changing who I am to please other people. It's definitely not the easiest way to live, but I choose to believe that being the "me" that makes me happy is the best way to live.
I live by a different checklist than most people, and I move at a different pace. Meaning, my milestones do not necessarily align with those of the people around me, and I don't reach said milestones in a way that corresponds with the timeline dictated by societal expectations. This also implies that if I choose to measure my life by the same ruler as everyone else, I'll always be dissatisfied.

Although it means that I'll probably never be one of those girls who has a ton of friends, I embrace the elements of my character that estrange me from the norm.

Relevant song: "HEAVEN" by Troye Sivan

<3Kuo

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