hat: university store; top: TJ Maxx; shorts: Cotton On; shoes: Topshop
I could easily be described as paranoid. Every morning, I need to triple check that I have my key and all the right notebooks before I can leave for class. I struggle to convince myself that not everyone hates me. And I can't help but feel as if I'm always under watch.
Now I'm not talking Republic of Gilead the Eyes are everywhere (Margaret Atwood, where you at?), and you won't find me wearing a tin foil hat or anything. It's more like I think I'm in some movie, and people are observing even my most insignificant moments.
It's a blessing and a curse. I'll admit that it makes walking places slightly more interesting. And when I'm passing a tall building, I like doing something a bit weird in hopes of giving someone glancing out the window a chuckle (because I'm such a giver).
But it also means that when I do something stupid, I feel reeaaally stupid. It's like farting. Farting in front of a friend--might be a bit awkward, but generally not that bad. Farting in front of a crowd of strangers? Now you're girl-who-farted-that-one-time. Reputation destroyed.
It also makes me wonder if I'm too self-centered. I mean, who am I to think that people--who have their own lives and their own problems--give a flying fladoodle about what I'm doing?
I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't think this way... Do other people think this way? Does everyone think this way??
These are things I think about when my eyes are passively scanning over the words in my chemistry textbook.
Okay, I need to make a conscious effort to not turn this blog into me whining about how much time I don't have. Around this time last year, I pretty much only wrote about how the weather influenced how I dressed because (a) I was too busy to think of anything else to say and (b) I had no idea what I was doing with this blog. Let's try to avoid falling into that again. Content, people. Content!
I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I didn't mean to yell at you there.
Also it's centered for some reason instead of left-aligned. I can't figure out how to fix it, but I'm not going to keep trying. (I'm not lazy!! I'm learning how to not sweat the little things. Maybe I'll talk about that sometime...)