Monday, February 23, 2015

Acne Product Conspiracy Theory

I have a theory that companies who sell acne products purposely manufacture merchandise that does not work. Here's why:

1. When I took freshman health and got to the diet unit, my teacher delivered a very eye-opening lecture regarding exercise machines and diet medication. He informed the class that companies intentionally design non-functioning products, so that when consumers find that the Shake Weight or the diet pills aren't helping them lose weight, they just buy another device or pill. Essentially, by making useless products, these companies only encourage consumers to buy more of their junk and pour money into their industry.

2. My friend often brings up the early history of pantyhose, and I'm here to bestow the story upon the Internet. Apparently, when pantyhose first came out, they were super durable. Whereas now women tear through pantyhose like a cliche dog through homework (er, at least I do), back then, a woman really only needed to buy one pair. However, because each woman's pair of pantyhose lasted so long, the pantyhose companies struggled to continue selling. As a result, the companies made pantyhose into a more dispensable product so they could increase profit.

Based on these situations, I've concluded that acne face washes, solutions, spot treatments, etc. are meant to not completely cure acne. Think about it, if someone discovered a working antidote for acne, the acne product industry would dwindle down to one company. And that company wouldn't even flourish! Once the acne's gone, it's gone. Sure, the company would still sell their medication whenever the next line of red-faced teenagers comes along, but before anyone can buy a second bottle of face clearing magic, his skin clears up! The system would shrivel into one guy selling one item one person at a time. Granted, he would have a monopoly and could realistically charge whatever he wants, but that's a little too Gilded Age for my tastes so I'm just going to ignore that hole in my theory.

In conclusion, the government is teaming up with acne companies in order to exploit the public and fatten their wallets.


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